Saturday, August 23, 2008

my grandmother...

my first day off in 12 days and I can't sleep!  i have dreamt of my grandmother from the moment my eyes closed this evening.  i think of her often, but this summer when I put in my normal philosophy order I decided to add something new...pure grace!  the smell brought back powerful memories from my childhood of summers on the jersey shore.  my mother loved the beach and we took many trips each year to jersey where we stayed at a place called "the garfield."  it was built in the 1800's...i'm not even sure of it's condition or if it even stands today.  we always stayed in the same room.  the windows would always be open and the breeze blowing the curtains.  the smell of perfectly clean sheets & hotel soap. 
on this particular trip my mother would tell my grandmother that she (my grandmother) had cancer and that it was terminal.  i love that, even though she knew this, in that moment she was just there with me & my mom.  that she just smiled as i covered her in sand.
that she spent the days with me getting water for sand castle moats & sifting through sand.
that she just walked with me.

two years after this trip my grandmother would come to live with mother & i.  as she was bedridden i came down with scarlet fever.  i was very sick and was paralyzed from the waist down for over a month from the illness.  my mother had to work so we had a full time nurse.  when i woke my grandmother would have our nurse bring me to her room where i would spend the day.  her resistance was nonexistent and I was contagious.  i love that, even though she knew this, in that moment she was just there with me!

philosophy from philosophy 

pure grace is the clean smell of soap and water, the memory of fresh air woven into a set of crisp, white cotton sheets, a cold deep breath on a snowy winter night, the best summer morning you have ever known, the one white t-shirt that feels better that all the rest.

one of the best tools for longevity and good health is not just taking a walk outdoors but taking your walk while holding the hand of God.  when we walk in gratitude for each and every moment, we empower ourselves by empowering our spirits.  when we breathe in nature through our eyes, ears and lips, we become certain that not only are our souls eternal, but that God knows how to manage our lives, our troubles, our worries and our days better than we do.  so today and everyday "let go and let God."


  1. Been missing you. I have precious memories of my grandmother too. She also had cancer, after I was married. I have days where something will bring a vivid reminder of her, and I miss her so much, but there is comfort in knowing that one day I will see her again. Have a blessed weekend. Jackie

  2. What a beautiful memory you have. What a special person your grandmother was.
    Have to tell you too that you in the bathing suit is the cutest picture!! Adorable!

  3. Oh and by the way....Happy Day Before Your Birthday!

  4. awwww - that was wonderful!

  5. Love you blog. So uplifting and wonderful. :-)

    The Lettered Cottage

  6. Beautiful! Trying to get back into the blogging swing of things and give a grateful shoutout for all the paryers and support!

    Thankful blessings,
    kari & kijsa

  7. Very beautifully written. My grandma was my Kindred Spirit, there are days that I miss her so much and just think how she would have loved being a great grandma to our children. She was the greatest gift God could have ever given to me.

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

    Ps. I am putting your name on my favored blogs to visit. :o)


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